I’ve been thinking of this since reading Audrey’s entry When Mom Says No. It’s about parents contradicting each other about the don’ts in the house and end up - unintentionally, I believe - negatively marking the other “the baddie”. I don’t think this is abnormal in many families. I think, for humans we are, such contradiction exists and common too. But what should be rare is the ‘baddie’ character formed throughout the differences we have in opinion with our partners.
I’ve once asked a family motivator about how, if my partner and I are of different backgrounds; one is way too lenient and the other is too strict, what should we do to avoid confusion to our kids and of course unpleasant moment in our relationship? He said, both leniency and strictness are good and bad according to circumstances. Avoid saying too many ‘Nos’ as it implies negativity to your child. But if your child is exposed to danger by doing something he wants to then being lenient on it won’t be good anyway. Should you not say no to your toddler playing with switches and plugs? I bet that’ll be the first thing that comes out of your mouth as programmed by Mr. Brain up on your head.
Fidaa’ is 6 months old now. I’ve given her solids - fruit purees and baby rice - at 5 months as she has been showing signs of needing more than just milk: she’s still unhappy after a good milk feed, very interested in our eating activities - she might even try grabbing a spoon or biscuit from our hands - and she’s doing this ‘chewing’ motion every now and then, and her dribbling/drooling has significantly reduced. She’s able to sit on her own without support for a few seconds, or longer if she’s not overly distracted with things around her now. Seems like she enjoys sitting a lot more than lying on her back so we usually help her sit propping her back with pillows and let her play with Handzalah’s Fisher Price touchpad we bought a year ago. This educational toy is quite expensive but I think it’s a good investment for a child. She loves to suck her thumb (or few fingers at times) and pulls other people’s hair!
Fidaa’ rolls from her back to get on her tummy and vice versa like a pro now and just like Handzalah, she moves faster backwards when she’s on her tummy, mengesot sikit-sikit. She’ll be all over the floor in a second. And when she’s on her tummy nowadays, she’ll hold her head up high and sometimes acting ‘manja’ putting her head down on the mat and making soft little sounds. Aha, she’ also experimenting with various pitches and tones of her voice. Sometimes it’s like she’s screaming all the way down her throat, just for fun other than making bubbles out of her saliva. Sometimes it sounds as if she’s singing along with Handzalah, whom of course loves music very very much!
You should see how both of them interact with each other. Handzalah usually joins Fidaa’ on the bed or mat when she stares at him and they’ll start “communicating”. Handzalah will do the talking and Fidaa’ will usually reply with all the “ooh-aahs” sounds. At times, Handzalah will pause to ask, “Ummi, adik cakap apa?” (Mummy, what is she saying?) and you thought he’d understand because Ummi doesn’t ;). No such thing as babies understand babies ah? I’m always worried when Handzalah is jumping up and down near her sister and will ask him to stop and do it somewhere else, but Fidaa’ will be overjoyed and laughing heartily to his brother’s acts giving her Ummi’s disapproval less reasoning. Handzalah is also OK when it comes to sharing his things; toys or even his favourite *apple with his little sister. It’s a joy seeing them happy having each other’s company, as if they’re yet too young for rivalry but there are times when the big brother does things like sitting on her sister simply to play around or the other no-nos just to seek you attention, so beware!
Handzalah is now able to pronounce more and more words clearly though he still have troubles with the letter R and L and apple is still ‘apen’ to him :). He’s uttering long sentences and telling stories of his own experience and has recently develop a new communicating habit: he asks and he answers on his own! He’ll ask “Buat apa tu?” (What are you doing?) and automatically replies “Oooh, Ummi masak nasi” (Oooh, Ummi’s cooking). And oh, the long OH is simply compulsory. The funniest thing about this cheeky litte hearthtrob is whenever he’s interested in something we actually know he really likes and usually asks for, he won’t just ask for it. He’ll make an opening remark for his indirect request and it usually starts with Wow - “Wow! Kita nak makan aiskrim”, “Wow PDA, Abi main PDA ke?” and aha he can now pronounce PDA as it is :). He also managed to pronounce computer properly and at last the word ‘octopus’ in it’s proper form. He used to say ‘ocpetis’ and we’re still not sure why.
He can take off his own clothing now but still struggling to put things on and he has just discovered that his diapers can get wet and he can now tell that it’s happening. He loves brushing his teeth and will ask for his brush everytime he’s in the toilet for a wash but still try to avoid having his hair washed or shampooed! NEWS: We’ve just cut his long, semi-curly wavy hair yesterday. We actually wanted to get it really short using ‘the machine’ but when he heard its sound he cried and screamed “Aku Maluuu!!!” (I’m ashamed) … err, what was that for and what in the world was he ashamed of? Huhu … he might have gotten the wrong expression ey? After a few minutes of consoling and ‘jelly-bean-ing’ (yeah, I know sweets-baits are a crime but that’s the best we can afford then :D) he agreed to have his hair cut with a pair of scissors :). Any other tips friends? * I’m not feeding her apples, not until it’s pureed but I do let her have a taste of the fruit; just like soothing her gums with cool teething rings, you can alternatively use carrots or like me, an apple. Just be sure she won’t get a bite and choke!
If you’re new here you can read my previous entries on TAB here. Enjoy!
Friends have been asking me about making their own playdough at home after reading my post on the recipe some time ago. I’d like to remind you that the dough will only last for a period of time. No, not because you can turn them into currypuff afterwards. And no, it’s not going to melt for no good reason or disappear through the process of vaporisation.
The dough would not last forever (nothing does) as it is made without any preservatives. Just like any other dough you make into pastries etc., the dough will deteriorate after a few weeks. Use a cheap flour if you worry about overspending. Well, flour is actually cheap enough though.
The idea in this is actually thriving excitement in making things on your own, from scratch. Perhaps, you’ll get to give your child some time and space in the kitchen to work together with you and your ‘toys’ rather than shooing them away when you’re busy in the ‘office’ with the ladles and pans. Your child will also learn a bit about dough making and the great thing about playing with doughs and blocks is it does help expanding their creativity. The only possible downside for it is, it’s not long-lasting thus dough-playtime will need to have a break until you get another pack of flour and other items in the recipe to make some more!
Oh and makesure the dough has enough of everything to make it nicely playable and won’t run out of shape and colour. Dry your masterpieces under the sun, that’ll make them hard to retain their moulded shape. Then, you’ll need to worry less about the expiry date!
Any other better ideas to keep the dough playable all the time? Other than buying Play-Doh please ;).
Got this from Mak. And now I feel sinful! Please read through and you’ll learn that some of the nicest things in the world could be dangerously deceiving. For the sake of your health and your loved ones, keep them off the dining table, lunchbox, picnic basket and most importantly your mouth folks! Err, since we’re humans, you might want to start decreasing your intake and get ready to serve more healthy home cooked meals on the table.
By Jaclyn Johnson eDiets.com Staff Writer Updated: August 16, 2006
There will always be those fattening foods that are easy to make, easy to get, and easy to crave. You think “OK, I know this is bad but it can’t be that bad!” Think again. Here are the top seven foods you should never ever feed your family or yourself!
1. Doughnuts
It’s hard to resist the smell of a Krispy Kreme doughnut, which is why I never step foot in the store. Doughnuts are fried chock-full of sugar and white flour and loads of trans fat.
According to the Krispy Kreme website, an average 3.5 ounce sugar doughnut weighs in with about 400 calories and contains few other nutrients besides fat. These sugary treats may satisfy your craving but it won’t satisfy your hunger as most of the calories come from fat.
“Eating a lot of refined sugar contributes to blood sugar ‘swings’ or extreme fluctuations,” eDiets Chief Nutritionist Susan Burke said.
- have I ever told you that I LOOOOOOVE doughnuts?
2. Cheeseburger with fries
The age-old classic may be delicious but think twice before sinking your teeth into that Big Mac. The saturated fat found in cheese burgers has been linked to heart attacks, strokes and some types of cancer.
“In fact, fast-food portions are gargantuan, almost double the calories per meal compared to 20 years ago,” Susan says. “Twenty years ago the average fast-food cheeseburger had about 300 calories. Today’s BK Whopper with cheese has 720. To burn the excess 420 calories, you’d have to run for 40 minutes. For example, in 1985 a medium French fry had 240 calories, 2.4 ounces. Today’s ‘medium’ is 6.9 ounces and 610 calories.
“This fast-food meal of cheeseburger and fries has way too many calories and fat grams, not to mention grams of saturated fat, trans fat and cholesterol and sodium.”
Let’s break down this meal. First, take the white-flour bun (refined carbohydrates), then add some processed cheese (saturated fat and trans fat, plus lots of additives and preservatives) and then top off with fried red meat (cholesterol and saturated fats). And let’s not forget about the condiments such as the always fattening mayonnaise.
Not sounding so appetizing anymore, huh? Oh, and let’s not forget about the infamous side dish. You cheeseburger will most likely come with a side of French fries, which is sadly the most popular vegetable dish in the U.S. Don’t kid yourself, French fries are not vegetables, they are extremely high in fat and contain a tiny amount of nutrients.
3. Fried Chicken and Chicken Nuggets
With the recent class-action lawsuit between The Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) and KFC, the health risks posed by fried foods are becoming more public. The CSPI is suing the food chain for their use of cooking oil containing unhealthy trans fats. The lawsuit seeks to order KFC to use other types of cooking oils and to inform customers how much trans fats KFC’s food contains.
Foods cooked in highly heated oils (most notably partially hydrogenated oil) have been known to cause cancer, weight gain and other serious health risks if ingested regularly. A 10-piece chicken McNugget from McDonald’s has 420 calories, 24 grams of fat and 1120 milligrams of sodium. One Extra Crispy Chicken Breast from KFC has around 420 calories and eight grams of saturated fat. So unless you want to super size yourself, it’s best to make a clean break with fried foods.
- no 3 & no 4 are our favorite take away/delivery menus. Thank God we rarely eat out!
4. Oscar Mayer’s Lunchables
Sure they are convenient and easy, but boy are they unhealthy! These kid-marketed lunches are loaded with saturated fat and sodium. They usually contain highly processed meats and cheeses, white flour crackers and sugary treats. Lunchables get two-thirds of their calories from fat and sugar. And they provide lopsided nutrition since they contain no fruits or vegetables.
“They insidiously promote obesity by making kids think that lunch normally comes in a cellophane-wrapped box,” Susan says. “Parents are promoting their children’s obesity by buying these items. They’re expensive, too. Pack a sandwich and save dollars and health.”
- huh? Never bought any.
5.Sugary Cereal
Not all cereals are created equally. And while your kids might beg for the latest cookie or marshmallow chocolate surprise cereals, it is a safe bet they are about as healthy as a dessert. Keywords to look out for are puffed, dyed and sweetened.
Most kids’ cereals are so highly processed they no longer look like the grains they were originally made from. A healthy alternative is oatmeal. Although, if you are buying pre-packaged oatmeal make sure to check the label and see how much sugar it contains, you might be surprised.
“A little sugar isn’t a problem but when the first ingredient on the box is sugar, then watch out,” she said. “There is no fruit in Froot Loops. But the unsweetened original Cheerios or Rice Krispies are fine, and you can sweeten them naturally with blueberries and strawberries.”
- guess what’s my husband and son favourite breakfast cereal?
6. Processed Meats.
What falls under the category of processed meats? Hot dogs, sausage, jerky, bacon, certain lunch meats and meats used in canned soup products. Almost all processed meats have sodium nitrite added as a preservative.
A recent study conducted at the University of Hawaii found that sodium nitrite can act as “a precursor to highly carcinogenic nitrosamines — potent cancer-causing chemicals that accelerate the formation and growth of cancer cells throughout the body.” So eliminate these meats from your diet before they eliminate you!
- Hmmp. I don’t stock up the fridge with any of those.
7. Canned soup.
Sometimes regarded as a healthy food, soups can be very deceiving. You must stay on your guard because many canned soups have high levels of trans fats, sodium and artificial preservatives such as MSG. Just one serving (which is roughly one cup) can have almost 1,000 milligrams of salt. Also, steer clear of soups that are cream-based, they can be high in calories and fat.
Susan says it is important to “read labels from back to front. Ignore the health claims, and instead focus on the ingredients and serving size. Watch out for hydrogenated fat (trans fat) and sodium. If you’re buying bread to go with you soup, the first ingredient should be whole grain — either whole wheat, rye or other grain. If it just says ‘wheat bread,’ that doesn’t mean whole wheat.”
a kg of flour half cup of oil 10 tsp. of salt coloured water
* I divided the mixture into different portions to put in different colours. You’ll need to adjust the amount of water for a good, non-sticking dough. Try it at home with your kids and enjoy!
It has been so long since t-a-b appears. Ummi has been busy writing other things ey? And maybe there’s just too much to tell about my two lovely babies. I’m going to tell their story anyway, for my dearest family and friends.
For a start, let me tell you that I’ve been deprived of a good night sleep for more than 3 days now. I’m sleeping during the day, when the kids are finally asleep. That’s about 3am-5am for the little girl and the latest 7am for the big boy. No, Fidaa’ is not colicky and no, none of them are sick. It’s just that somehow, for uncertain reasons I can’t recall, handzalah is reluctant to go to bed at his usual ‘late’ sleeping time at about 11pm to 1am daily. And, Fidaa’ happens to love his company that she has joined the late night party! Thanks to these little heroes, ummi has turned into a batwoman - with transformation incomplete though, am not going to wear the batsuit of course!
Handzalah:
is about to be 27months old on June 1st. He’s babbling and blabbering around copying everything that gets to his ears so beware! Don’t talk nonsense when you’re with kids. Funny that docs say they have short-term memory when they remembers all the bad things :D. He plays football with abi nearly everyday and still love listening and dancing to the beat of the music. Any music will do but he loves songs with children’s voices the most. He’s even singing nowadays and he makes my heart melt!
Tried teaching him the Arabic/Qur’anic alphabets with the Iqra’ Opah sent us but he seems not very interested in anything but the last page. Can’t expect too much from kids, they enjoy activity - that’s active and interesting. Someone sent us a link to a Youtube video with kids singing the alphabets an dit was so funny. Handzalah loves it and he’s been watching the Muslims kids’ school series from Youtube since and Alhamdulillah now he knows a few of the alphabets already.
We’ve just made ourselves a nice kilo of ‘PlayDough’ recently in red, yellow and green. This vege-lover boy will ask ummi to make him a ‘broccoli’ using the green dough other than ‘nasi’ (rice). Jazakillah Ako for the PlayDough recipe. She got it from Bengkel Asuh Bijak and it works well alhamdulillah. Will share it with you later inshaAllah
He has his own trainer seat now for the potty. He can tell us when he needs to go, pull off his own pants and uses the toilet for the poo-poo whenever he ‘has the time’ or remembers. Ummi does try asking him if he needs to use it at the usual times of the day to help make the potty-training a success but he’s yet to be able to tell us if he needs a wee. I did put the potty-training tips into practice to help him with it and one of them is by making him familiar with the toilet and the trainer seat, placing it on the toilet’s lid everytime we take him for a wash in the bath and ‘offering’ him to use it.
He calls himself his name “Handzayah” now. At last, he got it 99.9% right praise be to Allah
There’s one time Ummi felt unhappy and cried for sensible reasons and took the trouble to ‘report’ to Abi that “Ummi sedih” (Ummi is sad). Hehe, never let he sees you doing anything negative kay? Kantoi nanti!
He lovessssss his sister though sometimes jealousy precedes and he doesn’t know the limits. He’s always the first to check things out hearing his sister cries. You should listen to him trying to calm her crying sister saying, “Fidaa’ jangan ‘ngis, abang ada ni” (Don’t cry Fidaa’, big brother is here). He’s even very kind towards other ‘babies’. Always offering a cuddle and ‘looking after’ role as if he’s bigger and older.
I’m not sure if he’s an introvert as he’s usually okay with adults but with kids his age, he has a certain ‘time out’ kinda thing. He’ll play with them but he’ll have a period where he’ll do something else or find someone else - the adults I mean.
His appetite has tremendously increased. Well, he needs all the energy to get him moving. He’s the Jumping Bean - that’s what our Health Visitor, Anne calls him because he’s always jumping.
If you love your techno-gadgets and the memories within, keep it ‘far’ from this little boy. He knows how to dig things only by seeing you click them once.
His skin is greatly improving (he has eczema, if I’ve not mentioned it before). We’ve been prescribed with DoubleBase and it has done a good job keeping his skin moisturised for a longer period of time. Lesser complaints and better night sleep (if he sleeps ;))
Fidaa’:
is now 4 1/2 months old. She smiles and laughs and she has just started rolling. Her first successful attempt was yesterday when she was crying, asking her Ummi to pick her up while Ummi was busy in the kitchen. She was lying on her stomach then and I guess she can’t wait any longer to get on her back.
she loves interacting with people. She’ll be making so much sound when you talk to her with cute expressions making you feel eeeeeeee geraaam! She’s very alert and strong according to the GP and the docs-to-be; my fellow Tafsir class students. Sarah even did a physical test ton confirm Azila’s non-scientific yet observant assessment.
she’s still on breastmilk, fully and I don’t think I’ll start weaning until she’s 6 months old if she doesn’t show any signs of need before that.
I think she’s teething. She dribbles a lot, struggling to suck her thumbs and sometimes seem a bit unhappy though she has just finished a feed.
Alhamdulillah up to this moment she doesn’t have any problems with the skin except for the normal nappy rash that goes on and off.
We went to the Commons last weekend, all four of us! We used to take turns pushing Handzalah’s pram or walk and chase him around but now we’re both occupied with both lovely beings on their prams and Handzalah on his feet!
This is the funny alif baa taa clip from Youtube. Enjoy!
Parenting Skills Based on the Qur’an and Sunnah : With Practical Examples for Various Ages
128 Pages by Dr. Ekram Beshir; Dr. Mohamed Rida Beshir
Description: The Beshirs, a wife/husband team, who co-authored two best-selling books on parenting Meeting the Challenge of Parenting in the West, an Islamic Perspective and Muslim Teens and Blissful Marriage: A Practical Islamic Guide have conducted very successful workshops on parenting skills for Muslim families in North America and overseas. In this book they present the workable skills that parents participating in these workshops have found most rewarding. “Very professional, well researched, and pretty lively. Where were you 16 years ago? I wish I could start all over with the knowledge I gained from your workshop.” An attendee from South Africa. “It was a very joyful experience. I learned so much more than I ever expected. An amazing and thought provoking workshop.” An attendee from Toronto, Canada. Dr. Ekram is a medical doctor by profession, with a background in child psychology. She is the founder and principal of Abraar full time Islamic school and Rahma School, a weekend Arabic and Islamic school, in Ottawa, Canada. She is the recipient of the Director’s Citation Award of the Ottawa-Carleton District School Board for the year 2000 for her contributions in the area of education from among 7000 employees in the board. She has been very active with the Muslim community in Ottawa in the areas of study circles, children and youth camps, sisters programs, and marriage counseling. She has traveled extensively to various parts of the world to present parenting workshops. She has also authored other books for teaching Arabic to Muslim children living in Non- Arabic speaking countries. Dr. Mohamed Rida Beshir is an engineer by profession, with over 25 years of experience in Da’wa work in North America. He has held various positions with MSA and ISNA on both local and national levels. He is a member of the training and development department of the Muslim American Society (MAS). He is a regular speaker in ISNA, ICNA, MSA and MAS conventions. He is actively developing and delivering training programs to various Muslim communities all over the world. He is the recipient of The Ottawa Muslim Association and the Ottawa Muslim Community Circle recognition awards for years 1993 and 1999 for his volunteer Islamic work.
Sometimes, I just can’t believe my eyes and ears: the way he acts and talks it’s like he’s left the tiny, cuddle-only babyhood for a long time! Now he’s learning to call people’s names, especially kakak-kakak’s: the frequent visitors to our little house.
He has so many expressions now: laughter, smiles, frowning and even cries like he never did before! He’s a bit too dramatic sometimes, pulling his little face to show ummi and abi “I’m sad”! That’s usually when ummi gives him a “time-out”: out of the sight when he did something really wrong, e.g stay in the kitchen or outside the bedroom - just like the “naughty step” thing in parenting OR ummi leaves him with his intolerable behaviour, no more games, no more talking and ummi will go to bed. We’ll get him after some time, ask him to give a handshake or actually salam, a hug and a kiss to say sorry. He usually stops crying immediately and we’ll pick him up with a hug and kiss in return… the funny thing IS, if he’s out of the door, he’ll come knocking and crying but still says “Akum” - assalamu’alaikum in his language asking us to open it … oh, anak ummi! cepat cair hati ummi macam ni :(.
I don’t believe that hurting him with too many loud and harsh words will help, and just forget about spanking! Though these days, I think I’ve been a bit too emotional - I’m in my last stage of pregnancy - I felt so bad having to feel angry when he does things wrongly. May Allah grant me patience to cope, poor fella, he’s just a kid that’s learning to know the world …
He’s usually funny and really loves joining others’ conversation, especially when people burst into laughter, he’ll cry “hahaha” though he doesn’t understand why. He knows how to make a fake “crying” sound now, just for fun … and he loves babies so much, he’ll tell you there’s a baby in sight whenever he came across one, in books, the tele or those he met at home and outside. He’s always calling “adik”,patting his hands on the tummy and sometimes lovingly leaning his cheek and head on it with a kiss “muahsss…”! Some people say that’s his best and special skill: hugs with a long “muah” kissing sound
He’s copying, immitating nearly everything! He’s good at house chores or shall I say better these days as he has developed such “interest” far earlier. He’ll help ummi to sort clothes and load the washing machine. He’ll also help to take out the clothes and get them hanged, and spin the inner part of the machine (like ummi always does) before closing the door to make sure every single thing has come out :). Whenever he finds something on the floor that shouldn’t be there or if something dropped, he’ll say “Allah” and pick it up. He’s very kind and keen at helping out anytime; unless he has something more interesting to do:). He’ll get things for you whenever you asked for them or whenever you mentioned so. He even tried helping ummi up/out of the bed when ummi’s backache troubles her to do so :). And now he knows to complete the prayer, he can do ruku’, sujud and the sittings between, pointing out the finger for tahiyyah and also the ending salams; though he might not do everything in every solat of his!
He’s good with technology! Give him a computer, a PDA … anything? He’ll delete some files, turned on some music and even get his voice recorded in them! He’s so observant and he’s absorbing everything, just like a sponge! As you know, he loves music and lately whenever abi and ummi sing along (or talk to others sometimes), he’ll give that “silence, please” sign - finger on lips - with a shhh!
His always observant and absorbing sponge-like mind has given so many surprises. He might not copy things or pronounce words immediately after you teach him, but he’ll popped them out later when you least expect it! Just like a few nights ago when he mentioned “kakak Aziya” (for Azila) a few times before bed! He knows and remembers where you keep things and what’s missing from a puzzle or the shape sorter.
He has discovered what’s beyond his diapers and he’s showing some readiness for potty training. He knows how to tell you when he’ll poo but rarely mention if he needs a wee. Watch out if he’s squatting undressed (usually after a good wash)! The last time ummi and abi didn’t pay attention to that, he left some “gifts” in front of the bathroom and on the bed! Erk … He’ll try to put on/off his own clothes, and brush his own teeth but he doesn’t really like brushing them much. He’s about to complete his first sets of teeth soon inshaAllah.
He loves to read! He wakes up and goes to sleep with books; err and some biscuits and water too! Is it ok to let him have snacks before bedtime? Now he can read Postman Pat’s Big Book of Words showing the blender, kettle, washing machine, toaster etc. whenever you mention them … he knows the black cat from Hansel and Grettel and the teapot from Beauty and the Beast … I’m trying to find him a new set of Sirah/Islamic animated book so that he can learn from them as well. Have just taught him alif, ba and ta. He’ll reach the whiteboard, pointing the letter “ba” and pronouncing it everytime we sit in the lounge; ummi’s teaching area :). Seems like “ba” is more popular than the other two eh?
Is there a child in the UK that knows nothing about Bob the Builder? Even Joode is a big fan of him! That’s my lil nephew in Malaysia. We don’t have Sky at home but since we bought him a pair of wellies with Bob on them, and a big activity book with Bob and team, plus kakak-kakak showing Bob’s series on YouTube, he has turn into another fan, no doubt! He’ll ask for Bob - that’s the book or the newly bought (by kak Mai) 15-piece Jigsaw puzzle. I think kids just love Bob on his big machines, just like Handzalah love his Dig, Dig, Digging book that’s filled with diggers, tractors and rubbish trucks.
Hmm … in a month plus-time, this little boy will have a baby bro/sis (surprise, surprise!). I don’t know how it’s going to be then, but I hope Allah we’ll ease this journey of parenthood with granting us guidance, knowledge, strentgh and patience to produce little mujahids and caliphs (the wonderful term from bigSis’ friend) …
last but not least: … and this loving son of mine, knows whenever I feel a bit down. Well he loves giving away cuddles and kisses all the time, but he’ll give a long big hug and kiss … whenever I don’t feel fine. Trying to make ummi cry eh? my little heartthrob!
To deepen the love and to improve communication between members of your family - spouse, children, parents - your should aim to establish the following three activities in your home.
Firstly, perform some of your daily Salat collectively with your family. Prophet Mohammed said that, ‘When you have finished your [Fard] Prayer in the mosque, you should offer the rest of your Prayer at home for God will bless your home because of your prayer.’ (Muslim)
Secondly, establish an usra or family circle to study the Quran with your family. The Quran alludes to reading of the Quran in families and in home in the following verse:
And remember that which is recited in your houses of the Revelations of God and the Wisdom. [al-Ahzab 33: 34]
You should aim to hold these sessions at least twice weekly, if not more regularly. Remember that the first recipients of the message of the Quran were the members of the prophet Mohammed’s household. They were the one he paid most attention to in the early phase of his mission in Makka. So, you also must ensure that you spend adequate ‘quality’ time in educating and training your family.
Thirdly, develop the habit of having meals with your family. This will also provide a golden opportunity to interact with everyone, discuss family matters and reflect upon issues of the day.
[compiled from "In the Early Hours" by Khurram Murad, pp. 116-117]
For those who has been wondering what Handzalah’s up to right now - erm he’s still in deep sleep (its 8 a.m). He’s very active - day and night - running and jumping around, he’ll say “jump, jump” everytime he plays the jump-jump game :). He calls out ummi (out loud ;)) whenever he needs anything or fell down, he can say “abi” clearly but he’s been calling abi the same way he calls ummi lately (I don’t know why :D) and his favorite words are “ALlah”, “ummi” (truly, he’ll be saying ummi again and again though he doesnt needs me), “ayam” (he likes chicken?), “plum”, and he can pronounce names like “Amir” and “Mayam” - thats Maryam :). Says “nak” when he wants something, “air” when he needs water/a drink and “dah” when he finishes his meal and shows his hands - that means he needs to clean them NOW
He loves listening to music - anasheed from Shoutul Harakah, Shoutul ‘Amal and Harris Shaffix’s Keimanan song. He’ll ask for those, pointing to the laptop and saying “gu” - that’s for lagu. And how do we know he loves those songs? Because he will be asking for repeats and whenever we turn to any other than those he’ll be upset and asking for them again - with more signs than words of course :). Err and he seems to love moving/shaking his body to the beat - ouch ouch :D.
He’s sleeping (alhamdulillah - thats a great blessing!) and eating well after weaning totally off breastmilk a few months ago - thanks to the help of my parents and lil bro Zak - and he now loves drinking from “real” cups rather than the training ones :). He has been able to feed himself with hands or using spoon - we’ve trained him to do so since he was eight or nine months. *To those moms out there - you can help to coordinate their eyes+hands’ movement through this mealtime practice. Find them a booster seat or a highchair and trust them with food in the bowl, hand or fork and spoon (plastic ones). And DONT WORRY TOO MUCH about the mess they’ll make. Your child’s EDUCATION and DEVELOPMENT are MORE IMPORTANT than your house being tip top clean all the time RIGHT? It’s great to feed them with your hands once in a while, but not all the time if we want them to learn these living skills from young. You might find a big, washable plastic bip that covers the body with a bit of shoulders helpful and putting a plastic mat/cover on the floor, under the chair, if it helps to reduce you messy worries :).
He loves to read especially books illustrated with animals and machines (I guess that’s why Bob the Builder is so popular among kids) and he loves helping ummi to clean the house - dengan penyapu dan kain lap - other than his favourite toys - the washing machine (he knows how to load and unload the clothes and pushing the button “on”) and Mr. Hoover a.k.a the vacuum cleaner :).
He prays everytime ummi or abi prays (or anyone else around), saying “ALlah, ALlah” (the L sounds a bit like a W) all the time. Standing and doing the ruku’-sujud mix and the tahiyyah sitting. And the funny part is, he’ll point out the index finger/forefinger from both hands uttering “ALlah, ALlah” again and again (if you don’t - of course we don’t - he’ll find your other forefinger and pull it up, erk!). He has recently discovered giving salam to the right and lately being voluntary to offer prayers holding both hands up and uttering a whisper like prayer (whatever it is) :). He will never let ummi and abi read a book or use the laptop alone without his company - though he’ll “read” the book upside down and simply clicks the mouse or shut the computer down (using the start button).
He’s a bit clingy now, maybe because he knows the little one’s coming and the fear of separation has starting to develop since having his first few - short though - experience in the nursery when ummi and abi attended a parenting motivation seminar recently. And maybe because he misses the days when Atuk, Opah and Uncle Zak were around - he’s always entertained and well looked after mashaAllah - ummi and abi are trying to do the same sayang . He’s teething then and again but he hasn’t filled his jaws yet. ‘Ala kuli haal he’s growing and developing fine alhamdulillah and subhanallah so fast. He’ a real heartthrob, he waves a hi and bye to everyone who passes, EVERYONE and especially guests going out the door. He’ll offer a salam and kiss on the hand when you ask him to do so with a sweet “Muah” and “Bye” at the end. Most of all, he’s simply ummi’s kind little company though sometimes ummi does not know how to keep him entertain and busy when ummi has other chores to complete.
sharing some tips from the parenting motivation seminar - how to develop an Islamic Worldview in your child : - teach them to 1) LOVE ALLAH 2) LOVE RASULULLAH 3) LOVE AL-QUR’AN
- create an environment that’ll expose them and instil love to these three thing - educate them about their importance - ESPECIALLY FOR US WHO LIVES IN THE WEST: always care to explain why we are different (ghuraba’) from the disbelievers, why we don’t or do things … we ourselves should be an exemplary figure that appreciates our culture and way of life not the lifestyle loved and portrayed by the WEST - don’t teach them to be proud of being a British BUT a MUSLIM!
hope we’ll benefit from this great info, simply said but it is indeed another quest or struggle (I’ve been using these words too often?) … ‘ala kulli haal, enjoy parenthood and the blessings of having those beautiful little people friends!
moga anak ummi dan abi jadi anak yang soleh dengan akhlaq terpuji!
each other about the don’ts in the house and end up - unintentionally, I believe - negatively marking the other “the baddie”. I don’t think this is abnormal in many families. I think, for humans we are, such contradiction exists and common too. But what should be rare is the ‘baddie’ character formed throughout the differences we have in opinion with our partners.
He’s so observant and he’s absorbing everything, just like a sponge! As you know, he loves music and lately whenever abi and ummi sing along (or talk to others sometimes), he’ll give that “silence, please” sign - finger on lips - with a shhh! 
