The ABCs of Life

Thanks to those who are still reading this blog though without updates for a while NOW. I’m not sure whether I’ll be updating frequently again, but I do hope to do so once everything’s certain and settled InshaALlah. Meanwhile, please make du’a for us ya!

To Audrey and LoveQ gang, truly sorry but I don’t think I can participate every week until I get my two feet back home (in my homeland)….allahuma yassir ya ALlah.

I really want to write sometimes. And the worst part of wanting to write is, there’s always something to write down in my head when I’m in bed, putting my baby to sleep and when I’m about to sleep myself. And that is not the time to write because I don’t want my little angel to wake up when she realize that I’m not by her side. And of course after that good night/day sleep, I won’t remember anything when I wake up!

Okay, I’m not complaining about my baby, I’m complaining about myself…I should have put the book and pen under my pillow like before. And scribble in the dark like I did before…why am I remembering these to do things ONLY NOW?!

Aduhhh…sila abaikan pernyataan di atas.

Anyway, about wanting to write, other than having what to write, there’s always a question about why write? Haha, belit-belit punya ayat!

The thing is; there are times I’m not sure whether these words and thoughts are worth to be printed out. Or at least blogged about. Who’s reading? And are they of any benefit to them?

Of thousand and millions of blogs that exist in this realm, what makes me a worth reading writer and what makes me not?

I hate the idea of simply telling stories of just my everyday life. I used to renounce the idea of blogging = online journal/diaries.

But life has taught me that people love this type of writing like they love fun and exciting comics and romantic love stories.

Why? Because people love to snoop on other people’s live? Maybe huh ;)?

But the fact is, people love real people. Real things. Life, for real. Fairy tales and philosophy could seem heavenly nice. But we aren’t fairies and we can’t just live on ideals.

I’ve learnt that people learn from others by learning what they experience in life and how do they respond to it. And people like to understand that they can know, do things, overcome problems and so on being the people they are; with weaknesses, limitations, wants and needs.

And that’s why He sent Prophets to mankind, chosen among men themselves. A Prophet has always been a man, never a Jinn nor an angel. He sent a man to other men so that he will teach them revelations and wisdom. And so that they will be able to understand his speech and follow him by example.

3:164 Allah did confer a great favour on the believers when He sent among them an apostle from among themselves, rehearsing unto them the Signs of Allah, sanctifying them, and instructing them in Scripture and Wisdom, while, before that, they had been in manifest error.

Well, I’m not sure where am I heading with this entry. I just hope that this entry and everything that I’ve written and shall write be a good deed that will benefit InshaALlah, more than just me.

Mungkin untuk masa-masa sukar menulis begini, bisa saya lambakkan sejumlah puisi yang sudah lama tak menghuni blog ini.

Allah Maha Pengasih

Tagged by ainaana …so here’s 7 facts info about me.

1. I actually love number 7, just love…and it’s not my lucky number for I do not believe in such things. I spent 22 marvellous years of my life living in Lot 7 (that’s house no 7) with 7 remarkable siblings called the Sevenlords. So writing 7 facts about myself seems too interesting

2. I’m married to a very special person and I have two beautiful kids that hardly sleep at the proper timing.

3. Like ainaana I’m an INFJ too and language is my gift. Sort of. I love writing in all three languages I know which is Malay, Arabic and English. I’m into poetry though I never had proper training in writing. Several works of mine could be found all around the cyberspace and also a joint anthology by GKLN entitled Wilayah Cinta . For your information, we produced the anthology together. We don’t only write but work on the whole thing together. Of course the coordinators have more work than others but that was a great experience for everyone Alhamdulillah . The hardest part is, to now sell them and since I’m too faraway from home I’ve not been selling. Thanks to the Sevenlords few copies have been sold though.

4. I’m always the youngest or the younger one in class or the community but sometimes my thoughts are a bit too advance for my seniors. I was a year younger than my classmates in primary and secondary and I bother not to count the gap any more when I’m at the university. It’s like going to the same class with my eldest sister everyday. And I got to call everyone in class ‘kakak’ (elder sister) and feel extremely estranged when I’m with my peers. The good thing was, some ‘kakak’ 2 really treat me like ‘adik’ (younger sister).

5. About being an INFJ, I love to work with people and for people though some might think I’m a bit too shy and quiet. When people were thinking about graduating, finding a job or continuing a higher degree, I was thinking of working for a charity in Palestine or at least take part in developing Islamic education system in my country.

And… maybe that’s why I didn’t think twice when I signed up to be a housewife

6. I am a Malaysian though I’m not really sure that I’m 100% Malay. My father is, my mom’s not, but she’s in her IC…well, it’s just too complicated but it doesn’t really matter anyway right?

7. I hardly put on weight though I’ve really tried to. The only time I had the chance to put some real kilos was when I was expecting my first child…and simply lost them just few weeks after delivery!

Alright that’s 7 Alhamdulillah , sorry ainaana for the long wait. Too busy with everything else lately and might not update frequently. Good day peeps!

Have you heard about littlekittle.com? Or Malaysian Homeschool Unite? If you’re a parent (especially Malaysians) and haven’t been to these sites before, you ought to pay them a visit soon for they provide a great platform for parents to share their experience and exchange thoughts and questions on homeschooling or educating your children at home.

When I first read Mamafiza’s blog at littlekittle.com I was truly amazed by her family. Young parents aged 23 with three children and already doing serious homeschooling! Plus, to make me more envious, she’s a WAHM okay? I do realise that many young Malaysian parents are now aware about the importance of education that begins and continues at home, but finding this family was still quite some news to me. It’s interesting to learn that at a very young age, both Mamafiza and husband are doing well with their expanding family when many others at their age are still juggling with options in life and uncertain of their life path.

Now, we can all join them in their exciting journey and benefit from their experience and knowledge at Malaysia Homeschool Unite. And from other parents and homeschoolers too. For your information, Mamafiza has also created the En Zeru Teru Nursing Cover (as advertised on this page) for the love of breastfeeding and children with unique characteristics unlike others available in today’s market. Made from good quality fabric, beautiful colours and pattern you’ll simply love (they’re just gorgeous!), smart design - you can see your baby and he/she can see you, the baby won’t feel uncomfortable being all covered up but also won’t be able to remove the cover. So if you’re planning on breastfeeding your baby or already a breastfeeding mommy, don’t forget to get your own En Zeru Teru Nursing Cover for comfortable discreet feeding in public whenever you’re out on the go.

Narrated Anas: The Prophet said, “None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself.” (Book #2, Hadith #12)

It’s Friday, lovely Jum’ah. My favourite day of the week, of the month, of the year…of the rest of time! Jum’ah is a day to love, to come to the congregation, greet, meet and spread love. Loving God and God’s creations.

Love Q #4:

Is it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

Ok, here’s another LoveQ for this week. It was up on Wednesday and I’m just trying to catch up. Can’t spend much time on this so please bear with my short answers peeps! (Especially Madam Audrey dear ;))

1- Not to love is inhuman, and rarely the heart chooses in loving.

2- Birth, death, meeting people and separation is part and parcel of life and love. You need to understand that life and love come in this package. So love but be prepare to lose and live on, for nothing is yours…everything is His! And there’s too many wonderful things in life not to be missed and be thankful of over than some that you might lose.

3- Life is a test, and it is way too risky to lose your senses in love. But to let risks hinder you from living and loving would be devastating. It’s better to lose live than lose humanity. Should a loving heart surrender to losing? Love grows and the world should benefit from it, not just one man that might even be so blind or selfish.

4- That’s why marriage is important in Islam and other religions. You shouldn’t simply give your heart away (what more other than that) to a person who’s least interested in being responsible for it. Marriage might not last but at least it is a symbol of love, trust, and responsibility shared and cared by two human beings. It’s a life contract to many, though divorce might occur…At least we’ve first love with honour and responsibility.

5- Worldly love is temporary, God’s love, loving Him and loving others because of Him is a journey to eternity.

You might disagree if you wish, these are simply my own perspectives very much influenced by knowledge and belief. If you decide to join in answering, don’t forget to link up and read other answers from Mae and JM.

Have a nice weekend everyone.

Don’t be sad little darling,
this is just the way the world is;
bright sunny days will always have
a dark ending.
I know you hate seeing ‘adik’ sleep
and having to need to sleep yourself is boring
but nightime is just one of the things
to help you rest and energize
just like eating fruits and vegetables
and doing the running exercise.

Don’t be angry little child,
if you can’t finish building
towers with your blocks,
or winning the games you love,
tomorrow will come InshaAllah
for you to continue learning and trying.

Don’t be frustrated little angel,
if you trip or fall as you run,
and don’t worry if after many times
your towers can’t properly stand,
or if you can’t seem to get it right
all the times you tried to draw
an Ultraman.

I know it’s hard my little darling,
but there’ll always be a helping hand
and life is always about learning,
so try your best to enjoy
your wonderful efforts rather than just cry.

I know sometimes it’s confusing
to want but not able to do or have
for there are boundaries and limits
to even the finest body and mind.

This is how life is little sweetheart,
and may one day you’ll find
the wisdom and courage
to accept and understand His Might.

Love,
Ummi a.k.a k-e-w
Furze, May 16, 2008 156am

p/s: Especially to Mama and Loy, and to all other teachers, educators including those busy Moms and Dads who pay great attention to their children’s growth and care, those who might accidentally stumble upon this blog or read it everyday, Happy Teachers Day! Once a teacher, will always be one

Praise be to God, Bloggers Unite falls on the very day of Nakbah 60 Years - Commemorating the tragic history of Palestine (1948) where the rightful citizens of this holy land were displaced, killed and tortured by the invading Zionists army and now government of Israel. And that isn’t just history as this continue to be a present day event other than thousands of days that have been left behind. Friends, please do bear in mind, when we mention Palestinians, Palestinians aren’t just Muslims. The population of the old Palestine - the Palestinians - were formed by Muslims, Jews and also Christians whom shared the same belief that this land is holy and sacred.

Though there are many issues that we can talk about for this important event today; say the illegal detentions at Guantanamo Bay, imprisonment of journalists in China and the never-ending human rights abuse in Darfur, let us NOT FORGET about these 60 years that have yet find an end today.

60 years of suffering; Palestinians are killed and tortured each and everyday, being deprived of their very own right to their own homes, education, health and other living necessities under the Zionist regime government. Don’t forget that Israel is a country built on the expense of Palestinian blood and rights and the world have yet tried its best to put a stop to this. And let us not forget that leaders and governments of many developed countries endorsed such act; telling us they are fighting terrorism to save the world using terrorism itself! Don’t forget that in Palestine, human rights are being abused everyday and in every single way. Even loyal Palestinians whom are living outside the territories of their homeland are deprived from access to the Zionist colony.

You can find information about all human rights issues around the world from various websites like Amnesty International and others but for this important entry, I would like to highlight something which I strongly feel as one of the biggest reasons why these abuses take place everyday in our lives.

Politics. That’s one word many people do not understand or misunderstood. Many people in countries where humans right are being crushed and denied do not understand what politics are and maybe, do not even understand what human rights are! Some people think that politics are bad people trying to gain influence, forgetting that the good people are the ones to blame for letting them do so. Whether due to our double ignorance - we don’t understand our rights and the issue, we care less about change or doing anything to improve or because the world failed to unite and save us all.

Talking about politics doesn’t mean you need to be a politician. The important thing would be for you to understand and be aware of the politics of the world and especially your home town and where in the political scene do you stand? Many people whom are oppressed do not know they have the power to influence politics and change the oppressive power. And many people outside these conflict areas do not understand that they also have the influence on their country’s political stand in supporting or disapproving an abusive power.

Everyone by now should have realised how powerless the United Nation is when it is actually formed by great powers and highly respected countries. But these great powers themselves toy around with their political influences to make us live witnessing economic instability, war, murder and other sufferings day to day. Don’t forget that Israel didn’t rise alone and didn’t march to Palestine simply on their own. Don’t forget that the weapons used in conflicting 3rd world countries and Darfur aren’t made at home. Who sells and who buys them, and those who end up using have of course used them against humanity and rights.

Everybody in this world is a citizen of a country. And everybody have the right to be a part of its present and future with a role to play and abilities to share. Though a country’s law and provision for its citizens vary from one another, all of us human beings unite in our belief in justice, freedom and humanity. Know your rights and act upon them. Not tomorrow, not when you’re 21 but NOW! Time and tide waits for no man. In a precious second a soul might be killed and a right might be abused. So don’t wait till you can do what you want, start doing what you can. Learn and understand. Awareness is the key to a helping hand. Write up, speak up. Spend your penny and dollars for charity. Do your bit for the world’s community.

And to all bloggers, let us unite for Human Rights and keep on blogging for humanity.

If you’re anywhere near Dundee, this is where you should be this evening:

Ok this is the answer to LoveQ #3. To me, a woman should never marry

1) a liar

2) a man who believes in nothing

3) a man who’s not sure or has the least interest in marrying you or marriage at the first place…

I can only think of three. Do check out Abbey’s

Love Q #2: When it comes to love, is it better to follow your head or your heart?

Human beings are perfect creations with great gifts but limited capabilities and that’s what makes us complex and complicated most of the time.

Love is something that belongs to the heart but deciding on love alone with the heart might not be so smart. Love could blind us easily, and it’s actually good when it blinds us from seeing the differences we have that could hinder love from resting between our souls.

But God did not give the great gift of mind and intelligence for nothing. Mind is not only the manager to your body, but it should also be able to manage the heart wisely. As a Muslim, I do always believe that in love, the mind should be able to manage the heart and deal with relationships properly. Just like finding a spouse, it’s true that as love is blind, loving anyone of any colour, religion, age or culture wouldn’t be impossible. But choosing the one who suits you best might take you to consider his/her attitude, whether he/she is mature and responsible and so on. Love should not blind a person till he/she loses the sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. Like a wife to an abusive husband. Some women spend their life in fear and pain, for loving a person who loves them only at heart though exerts his feelings with brutality. Worse, some women allow themselves to be used for irresponsible men’s personal gains and interests yet only receive conditional pleasures or nothing in return. Even in loving your child; your heart might want to give them the world if they want it but a wise parent will always try to balance between giving, when and what to give so that the child will learn that they are loved but would not be spoilt off-limits.

Nevertheless, the heart’s importance should never be lesser. People whom are empathic do makes live better. A contented heart is even a contributing factor to a healthy body and mind. And a strong loving heart is a great motivator to achieve what your head and body could not do with intelligence and health/strength alone. People who donated their living organs (e.g kidney) are people who dared their lives for others. With a loving heart and a brave soul. And out of love they’ve challenged their limited body, denying everyday logic which illustrate the act as highly risky. So does people who leave their homes to fight for their beloved country and charity/voluntary workers who chose to live in great difficulties above their own comfort and safety, living in refugee camps or devastated territories.

I prefer not to choose whether the heart or the head would be the better leader in love. I think both should work hand in hand when it comes to dealing with people - the completely complicated and complex beings. Look at how beautiful love is when feelings are expressed with great creativity putting mind’s role at its best simultaneously. And have some thought about forgiveness and moving on in life. People could hardly give in after being hurt or betrayed but a sound heart and mind will always tell you to forgive, as forgiveness is the way to cure your grieve and heal your feelings, and to take another step ahead bearing no grudge and negative thinking but with cautions and lessons from the past. So love, and love wisely. Be wise, but don’t turn yourself into a heartless robot for doing too much thinking.

I’d like to share some beautiful verses of the Holy Qur’an and excerpts of Hadith (sayings, acts, behaviour of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon Him) about dealing with people and love.

4:1 O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his wife (Hawwa (Eve)), and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship). Surely, Allah is Ever an AllWatcher over you.

4:86 When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally. Certainly, Allah is Ever a Careful Account Taker of all things.

49:12 O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting) . And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful.

49:13 O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).

• Allah’s Messenger kissed Al-Hasan ibn `Ali while Al-Aqra` ibn Habis At-Tamim was sitting with him . Al-Aqra` said, “I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.” The Prophet cast a look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.” (Al-Bukhari)

• I never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). His son Ibrahim was in the care of a wet nurse in the hills around Madinah. He would go there, and we would go with him, and he would enter the house, pick up his son and kiss him, then come back. (Muslim)

• The Prophet said, “(It happens that) I start the prayer intending to prolong it, but on hearing the cries of a child, I shorten the prayer because I know that the cries of the child will incite its mother’s passions.” (Al-Bukhari)

You can read another perspective of the Love Qs response at Amidrin’s and Jo-N’s. Psst, this is quite late. Another LoveQ is already up today ;).

I’ve been yearning to update this blog for days. Sincerely I do believe I have more important things to do than to write, so at the moment writing is not the first, second or third in my list. Well, I miss writing so much sometimes. And the worse part is to lose all the ideas and questions you have in mind, all the inspiration by the time writing is finally do-able. Never mind; as mentioned, it’s just not my priority now. Lose some, gain some..right?

The little angels are asleep…miraculously dozed off at 10pm when they’re usually up and running like there’s nothing called sleep in their diary. But behold, they might just be taking a ‘nap’ and the night will be longer that it usually is then! Haha…that usually disturbs my mind because I will surely lose some good night sleep, but after some time…NOW, I’ve learnt that life should be lived to the fullest be it night or day with my beloved kids…Time is not going to hold me back with negative thoughts and emotions though lack of sleep might challenge my limited body. I’m not alone in this task. There are other sleepless mothers in this world and most importantly Allah is there for me, with me all the way InshaALlah

Sorry if this bores you, I’m just doing some self-encouragement ok?

Some quick stories about us down south:

1] Last Friday, I had an emergency appointment - my wisdom tooth is finally erupting! It hurts so much I could barely speak properly and accidentally bit my inner cheek. Felt like my gums are swollen and I can feel my neck painfully stretching. I took some paracetamol to relieve the pain and brush my teeth like crazy. I even gargled the mouthwash with strict discipline though I really can’t stand the feeling and taste for the sake of being healthy. By the time I meet the dentist, I felt so okay except that the gums still swells and feels uncomfortable. It was a funny dental treat. The dentist speaks so so so slowly, I can only hear him mention about my wisdom tooth ‘erupting’ the first few minutes I was treated. They gave me a mirror so that I can see what they are doing and taught me how to care for my teeth, especially the infected wisdom tooth. The doctor said because it’s really deep inside it’s not as clean as it should be, so he gave me a syringe…a syringe??! Yeah, a syringe to bring home, fill with salt water and clean my teeth. That was quite an interesting thing to bring home from the clinic ;). I asked the doctor how can I keep it clean as clean as it should be? He said I just need to keep on brushing and brushing and see the dentist regularly. I don’t mind brushing but seeing the dentist is a bit troublesome, really and expensive. And does that mean, cleaning your teeth without extra professional care from the dentist wouldn’t be good enough to have healthy teeth? Back home in Malaysia, the last time I saw a dentist was nearly a decade after the last time I did in my childhood. And she said I had really clean teeth and she’s not going to do any scaling or anything. I don’t think I’ve been eating more sweets now…or is that just a sign of getting old?!

2] The angels had an evening out with 3 sweet girls with beautiful hearts from my class who had this wonderful idea of bringing them to the park at the university, to do their favourite “duck-watching” activity (if there’s such term :D). Some lovely photos can be found at Anis’s.

3] I am no longer teaching in SMS. Had to stop until things are confirmed. Kinda miss the kids there though I don’t really think they miss me ;). I pity them for some reasons but I’m not sure whether I could help either…I’ve tried. I did. I really did. I’m not giving up though. It’s just not my call for now. I can’t be saving the whole world, though sometimes, my superhero heart feels like doing so. My tafsir class is also on holiday now so I’m quite free. Only Aimi comes for ‘mengaji’ (learning how to read the Qur’an) twice a week with Bibik and Aleeya. Seems like my two darlings have new company two play with and for Fidaa’, to stare at!

4) It’s the exam season here in the UK before summer begins with a real holiday. So everyone’s busy and looking forward to go back home sweet home soon. Hmm, wonder when it’ll be our time to go home…Soon I hope!  To everyone with exams ahead, Bittaufiq Wannajah Al-Baahirah, All the Best, Ganbatte…may Allah help you all the way!

5) Started teaching Handzalah the Arabic/Qur’an alphabets with Iqra’. Tried this earlier but whether it wasn’t the right time for his age or I didn’t have enough teaching skills to interest him into doing so. He’s doing fine Alhamdulillah and Fidaa’ loves joining the fun. Since Aimi start coming to learn at my house, both of them are more interested in learning too. Fidaa’ goes ba, ba, ba all the time when she sees the Qur’an or any Arabic book.

Hope this is good enough for an update, especially to my beloved Sevenlords…may Allah be with you! Ma’assalamah….